I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Saturday, 30 January 2016

No Winter present. by Stevie Haston.

Matterhon Boulder 30 meters high.

Yesterday I went around a few cliffs to help the local rescue people, it was a nice morning but there was no winter visible!

the flowers and vegetables are confused!

Being at the Ispo trade fair you get used to the common denominator of snow and ice, then sell your gear, but what if winter just does appear? As a sportsman I worry about my sport and business, but as a human being I should be worried about the planet.

this is an improvised hauling trick. You can try it, I use it, its better the backing binder is a srewgate and it needs preferably to be smaller.

The world is changing fast, very fast indeed. Even the fabric of governmental morality is not to be trusted anymore.  But what is to happen to our planet? Fish they say will disappear by 2050. Do you think the glaciers will be very big then? Do you think that the permafrost inside the big mountains will keep them glued in shape, or do you think there will be more collapse to iconic mountains like the Dru?

A perfect Cap by a perfect Barrista.

This lovely man lives in Sweden, but is Italian. Have you noticed that cross border pollination is going on? Iam not a nationalist, far from it, but all this moving, setting up of new homes, finding new work isn't it a waste of money, and resources? Cant we stay in one place anymore. 

the classic.

Of course coffee is one of the financial commodities of the world! Perhaps I should try to give it up! I might, but I won't give up climbing! Life without climbing isn't life!

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Winter show ISPO, by Stevie Dipso Haston.

Lorenzo searching for the light.

 Just got back from the Winter show at Munich. Biggest show in the world, an 80 Billion dollar industry as usual saying they don't make much money. Actually some  were doing good, and some doing not as well. The modern industry mantra of ever increasing sales can't be sustained, just like with the rest of the planet!  

 the book of books, Conquistadors of the Gifted.

Was tempted to purloin this book. Never saw it in Paperback! And never saw the mans signature. 

 zee stand up.

zee stand down. Just chilling reading about the Conqusitador of  Bottled dreams!

Saw a couple of great climbers, including a certain Mr Adler from East Germany-the venerable second ascentionist  of the famous Wolfgang route, Action Direct. Its funny to remember the hatchet job Grimpeur magazeeeen did on him, dismissing him etc. All one has to do is look at Adlers fingers to realise he could have climbed something much harder than Action. His fingers were alien, they made mine look like a Maltese catamites!

Anyway now back in sunny Gozo, sick as a dog with the Flooogang sickness and will be back on the Conquistadors trail soon as possible. 

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Old, Older , Oldest, by Stevie ancient Haston.

 Avoiding work is fun, when there is so much climbing history around.

Flying over the Alps has to be one of the best things in life, a beer, a view, and above the mountains!

 I don't see you doing much walking, or climbing in these!

Gear gets better, perhaps we are getting weaker, or certainly softer.

 A farmers axe used for climbing.

 A friend, and a friend.

 Poster boys, heroism was always for sale, nearly said, or wrote sail.

 My back hurts looking at these old sacs.

 the Terrardactyle. 1970s.

 Lobster claw crampons.

Beer is still the same, well sometimes, if it is made with hops, good water, and a few
 other good things.

Monday, 18 January 2016

Working in a Mountain Office by Stevie seaside Haston.

 Gozo with snow clouds!

Just crossed the alps twice! -8 degrees in Munich, -10 in Courmayeur, way too cold for the tips of my ears. Bad snow pack apparently up hight, don't have the time or the money to do any of that stuff.


Getting ready for the show in Munich. Grivel have a new comp axe-its a cracker. A couple of other things that are good, don't know what we are showing. 

 desks cluttered up.

Its all go, I feel like a country bumpkin, probably just get in the groove and go back home to being a small island cliff climber.

 Poster boys of Yore.

The Grivel Shuttle-a great light all purpose belaying abseil device.

Clocking off now beer etc pizza more beer, sleep.

Saturday, 16 January 2016

Bread and Circuses, by Stevie Sodden Haston.

Apples and pears 6a+ , Spiders from Mars 7b.

Off to work a bit on mainland Europe, the cold I do not look forward to, but the beer yes, I do.

 The greyest it gets!

It is raining today, so a few pull ups, and packing a bag, early boat, planes trains and automobiles. No rock for a few weeks.


The bad weather swooped in like a dark hooded bird, luckily we are so far south in meant nothing really, and even today you could go climbing in one of the big caves. 

a sky like this in the north would mean snow!

Here's a few photos to keep you going, and me too I guess.

Matterhorn Boulder and a good 6a+ up the front face 30 meters.

Off to work with the wizards at the Out Door show, look at gear and be part of a global industry and meet friends from around the world. I will undoubtedly get jealous about the powder they have shredded, the mountains they have plodded up, the routes they have crushed, and the magic countries and people they have visited. 

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

A Week of being Weak, by Stevie feeble Haston.

 A four pitch route waiting, cracks, cracks.

Just a short blog to say its more than warm here, and although I am looking forward to work, money, and seeing lots of people at the Winter Out Door show, I think I'll freeze.

 Mysterious Mistra Rocks, or Sopu Tower area.

Did some cleaning a path, and work in the area behind Sopu, it's Far, Far, Away for a tiny island. The arboreal rats are very friendly, and a little bit cute, although their teeth look sharp. I was soloing a route, and one scampered out of the crack, and looked at me a bit angry, then he just messed about showing off, climbing around.

 Bernd and the Cowboy big J.

Time goes by, there's been a lot of visitors over the winter holiday period. 
No big news though. I need a big training block of 6 or more weeks. One day you wake up dead as some one famously said! With the passing of Bowie and Lemmy, it seems like an era has passed, and we will slowly sink into the sand of seriously banal. The Cameron Lattitudes, the G4S, the doldrums of social uncaring.

 Titanium and a very nice Rams Horn lower off. Donation button up on right if you have some spare money.

"What is life for?". "Don't know", is the answer. Without sunsets, and the sea I would have more trouble for sure with this hum drum life.

 A common, or garden Gozo sunset.

The Island continues to be beau, but news that we will have a huge Complex Hospital thrust apon us is worrying. The idea is, the rich will come here to get operated on instead of back home in whatever place their National Health service is getting destroyed! 

 the sunrises are more ordinary generally.

My island needs small jobs for ordinary people, not surgeons from where ever! One of the departments in the hospital will be to make artificial limbs for victims of War. We are apparently conveniantly situated to the permanent Middle East money making massacre! 

Vegan Pie.

No vegans were hurt, or injured in the making of this pie! Good climbing to you. And thanks to Didi for trimming the thorns on the Mistra rock Sopu Tower area.

Friday, 8 January 2016

Wash once a year, by Stevie squeaky Clean Haston.

 not calm at the moment but still wet!

It's hot, but not super hot, but it is still too hot on hard routes in the sun! 
Water is still bearable. 
Routes are still defeating me. I think I need to train, there's nothing wrong with my climbing, but I'am too weak. "Physician heal thy self", Ok then back to the finger board, and the dreaded weight belt. Got work anyway. And the winter storms are a bit splashy on the exciting cliffs.

 Bath time.

So has everybody kept their New years resolutions? I have discovered that it is hard to give up animal milk in coffee (always new this), the second more important discovery, is that rum is the best substitute for milk!

 I do like my island.

Bees are flying around, and it is spring! There are daffodils still, but only in the places that don't get any sun.

 My briefcase.

Today was lovely, revisiting some old routes, mainly slabs, not in the guide book I'am afraid, some on crystal, aragonite, and more common calcite.

lots of corners and slabs. Foot work, and precise movement.

8th of Jan 2016, time is already ticking away for this year, still got my bath out of the way, a tiny bit of work, and the decks will be cleared for TRAINING. Completely fed up being rubbish. Will have a coffee with vegan rum in it to cheer my self up. 

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Lord Haw Haw, by Stevie Ha Ha Haston.

 A Gozo sunset, in reality it's called Ghawdex.

Lord Haw Haw was executed by the Uk after the war. He died by hanging at the hands of Pierrepoint, the payed executioner, or the professional murderer, perspective is everything, and tricky. He was clearly not guilty of treason as he was American, so the Brits murdered him for entertainment, and vengeance. There was a slight chance that he would have got off, because his questionable allegiance was pointed out, but the Attorney General, that most honourable, and law abiding man stepped in, and a guilty verdict was assured. It was said he owed allegiance to the King!

 A treacherous sky, a red pointing sky!

Allegiance to the King! In the last New Years honours list a few brave honest folk refused those stupid medals, and bits of toilet paper. It's funny how no body seems to care, but an MBE, or medal for being a so called Member of the British Empire, seems a bit out dated, and well, lets say deluded. Empire of the absurd.

 Allegiance to rock, in this case an 8a/8a+.

Obviously I do not owe allegiance to a rich half German woman, and her Greek at times racist
 husband, it's more than absurd. But I would like to point out that governments change the goal posts whenever it suits them. We know this, but at times we seem to have a very selective memory. Bobby Sands was a Member of Parliament who died in a UK Prison, unbelievable you say! Well no, he was a freely elected member of the House of Commons, the so called governing body, of the so called United Kingdom!  His story is well worth remembering. I never agreed with this very brave mans politics, but find his story unforgettable.

 Stone's only allegiance, seems to be, to sadistic gravity.

As the government of the UK get ever more inventive with the truth, and indeed seem to have resurrected Lawd (lord) Haw Haw's ministry of Propaganda, it might be time to ask for a Republic, and not a Monarchy in the Uk. A fat chance, but you could at least ask! Most intelligent people seem to think that the Uk is in fact an Oligarchy, and not a Monarchy, well you can still ask! You probably won't get an answer, "Ha, Ha", but you can still ask. For a while "Haw, Haw", as Osborne would guffaw. 

Monday, 4 January 2016

Viva Cologne by Stevie Haston.

Gregor  from the Cologne climbing wall gave me some money for a new route, so I picked him a good one. The name is Viva Cologne, and I thought it was 7a when I put in the expensive corrosion free titanium gear. When I got on Viva Cologne again it didn't feel 7a, it felt decidedly more!

 this is another little new route in the making.Viva Cologne is the arette behind the climbers back in the above photo.

It's a lovely sector where Viva lives, sumptuous rock, iron work and fragile lace like plates. A few easy trad lines were done which should be turned into sport routes soon as we get some new equipment. Viva Cologne takes an easyish arette in superb position followed by a precarious groove without much for the feet, it's one of the best quality routes I'ave done. It felt hard on a cold windy day, with the void pulling at my sphincter.

 tricky! tricky!

To the right of Viva Cologne is a dark slot with two or three ways out, that then land you on a slab of massive, magnificent, pulchritude. Haven't really worked out how to make the most of it as it would be a waste to just abseil down, and do the slab without first sampling the evil darkness of the slot.

 a different finish less tricky!

Crisp little finger holds on very good rock is rare on the island so we have done the easier version a few times now just for fun.

thank god hold!

Checking out the holds on a winters day, can be fun, or not. Airy abseils are one thing, but abseils that get you immersed in the splash zone are another! The North Coast has charm and a little bite, hopefully you will find it charming and it will only nibble you.